


Severus Snape and the Sobbing Stag

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst, Gen, Humor, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 20:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7121995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus has seen his fair share of odd things, but a stag that speaks in the voice of James Potter? Now THAT is a disturbing thought. Based on an AU prompt request from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Severus Snape and the Sobbing Stag

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Just a short little interlude to fulfill an AU request from Tumblr. The requester wanted a short little story where James somehow survives and he and Snape have to work together to protect Harry, who still has to live with his aunt because the "lily's blood" thing. There is much snarling and quipping as well, because of course there is.

******** “You’d better not hurt my son, you know, or I’ll put your eye out,” said the stag in a jarringly familiar voice. It stood at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, stomping its hooves haughtily.

Severus Snape stared at the creature with wide eyes for a moment, recognition dawning on his pinched and scowling face.

“Potter. I _ should have known _ . And here I was, thinking that at least with you dead, you wouldn’t be able to torment me any longer,” Severus growled, looking as though he was about hex the beast. “Remind me to tell the centaur tribe to keep a look out for a five point stag.”

“Don’t blame me, blame your incompetent Dark Lord,” James snorted, tossing his head. “He cast a spell that was supposed to disembowel me, but instead turned me into...this. Funny, you seem to be the only one who can understand me.”

“Lucky me.” Severus replied, his voice deadpan.

“C’mon, Snape, don’t be like that!” Potter sounded choked up, as though he were about to start crying, which was somewhat disconcerting coming from a stag.

“Perhaps you should have thought about that when you stupidly chose a Secret Keeper with a morally dubious past!” Severus spat angrily. “Then, perhaps Lily would still be alive, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”

The stag reared back on two feet and bellowed loudly in anguish.  It seemed to be about to charge for a moment, and Severus stepped back, going into a dueling stance with his wand at the ready.  At the last moment, however, the great beast’s head sagged and a moan of desolation escaped his lips.

“You know what? For once, you’re right.”  

A strange glint seemed to fill the dark eyes of the Potions master as he stepped back and leaned against a nearby tree.

“Your son is with her sister, you know,” Severus said, crossing his arms.

“You mean that horrible Muggle woman and her horrible husband?” James was obviously shocked.

“You forget her horrible Muggle child. I hear he looks like a tiny yellow-haired piglet.” Severus smirked, though he knew he was being a bastard in the face of James’ grief.

“But...but...Sirius...” James whimpered.

“What about him? He’s off in Azkaban for killing your little friend, Pettigrew, in cold blood. I hear that at least five Muggles were killed in the resulting blast. Black has always had a problem understanding the meaning of  _ collateral damage _ .” Severus waved his hand. “Poof.  Dementor food, just like that.”

Severus had never seen a stag deflate before, but James managed rather nicely. He sank to his knees onto the soft grass and looked up at Severus with a pleading expression in his large, dark eyes.

“That does sound like Sirius.  He was always far too willing to take matters into his own hands.”

“As I well know,” Severus said bitterly.

“Well, why are you not in Azkaban, then?” James said, his voice accusatory.

“Let’s just say that I know what side I’m on, and Dumbledore accepts it,” Severus replied, looking at his fingernails absently. “I must say, I keep asking myself why it’s you that survived and not your wife.  She was worth at least ten of you, you know.”

James made a strangled bleating noise and pressed his nose against the grass.

“You know, you’re right,” he sniffled, after a moment of self-pity. “I’d give anything to switch places with her.”

“Well, then, I see that we are in agreement on at least one point, then,” Severus replied, looking up at the nighttime sky wistfully. “In any case, I’m going back to the castle. You’ve already ruined my nice peaceful evening stroll, so I might as well get to work on all of the grading I need to finish.”

“Please...Snape...” James said softly, and Severus jerked his head to look at the pathetic beast cowering on the ground, its hooves tucked under its body.

“If you expect me to join your pity party, you’re out of luck,” Severus growled, but he didn’t turn to leave, not yet.

“I...I would like to apologize,” James said, his voice husky with grief. “For all I’ve done in the past.  I was a right git, and I allowed my stupid sense of House pride and attraction to Lily cloud my judgement. I’d apologize for Sirius too, but I don’t think you’d accept it.”

“And for good reason, I’ll have you know!” Severus huffed. “In any case, I don’t see why I should forgive you for anything.  You’re only apologizing to me when you feel you’ve lost everything, and that makes your apology worthless.  Come back when your life is wonderful and you’re feeling on top of the world and tell me with sincerity in your heart that you are well and truly sorry, and  _ maybe _ , just  _ maybe _ I’ll accept it.”

“I doubt that life could ever be wonderful being trapped in this state with my wife murdered and my son held captive by a bunch of gits,” James moaned. “Oh, and to top it off, it appears that only  _ you _ of all people can understand me.”

“Oh come off it!” Severus snapped. “No one wants to see a deer mope about, especially not me!”

“I’m not a deer!” James replied indignantly. “I’m a stag.”

“Well, you certainly aren’t acting like one!” Severus said. “Whoever heard of a sobbing stag?”

“I’ll sob if I want to, Snape. I have the right.” 

“Fine, but I don’t have to sit here and listen to your bellyaching.”  Severus turned, then, sensing that there was nothing to be gained by sticking around and listening to James natter on about his woes.

“Will you come back?” James’ voice was plaintive, and Severus felt a strange twisting sensation in his belly that was not altogether unpleasant.  Even though James had been his mortal enemy for years, he did have to admit that seeing the result of Potter’s hubris was somewhat entertaining.  And, if nothing else, he might be able to learn some more about Lily’s life leading up to her untimely murder. There was also the possibility of finding out other bits of useful information about the so-called Marauders that might give him an advantage in the future.

“I’ll think about it,” Severus said with a noncommittal shrug. “If i do decide to come back, I will do so after nightfall on this side of the Black Lake, where you won’t be visible to the castle.  I have enough trouble with the students already. I don’t need them to be coming up with all manner of absurd stories about me talking to the local wildlife.”

As he began to walk towards the castle, he thought he heard a snort of laughter, but he couldn’t be sure.

Though Severus Snape didn’t consider himself a kind man, he resolved to ask Hagrid for some extra barley and oats the next time he was near the caretaker’s hut. 

After all, it wouldn’t do if James Potter, Sobbing Stag, were to die of starvation before Severus could hear every memory of Lily that he could squeeze out of the stupid beast.

Yes, he decided, it wasn’t because he was feeling compassionate towards Potter at all, even though a part of him felt a small twinge of guilt at the obvious lie he was telling himself.

  
  



End file.
